Author: admin

My outline took less time than I thought it would, but it also was prefaced by what we did in class the one day with our sources and what not. I think I will be fine with my outline being the way it is. I tried to tie in as many branches of my outline to one another so that I could connect everything. My one concern is that some things will be too connected and I will be jumping from place to place in my paper, so I will have to be vigilant about that.

In terms of what I have versus what I am missing, I think I am mostly covered. The thing I feel like I am actually missing the most is exact quotes and events in my primary sources that I will talk about in my paper. That I am not too worried about though because I am about to go back and reread/ rewatch the plays so I can have an idea of what exactly I want to talk about in more detail.

SONG OF THE DAY

I was really drawn into Kate’s one reading and Jazmyn’s reading. I keep thinking about trauma because that is what my paper is about, but there is something else at play that connects these two texts. Love offers a very complex degree to human life, and both of these stories carry that idea within them. Kate’s “Stone Butch Blues” excerpt was the one that really had me thinking, especially with the idea that there are different types of parents to people. I of course have my own mom and dad, but there are some things that I go to other people for advice on, if there happens to be a partner connected to that person, they become my ___ mom and dad. I have a work mom and dad, school parents, etc.

I was also thinking about Jazmyn’s text and how the story shapes love in different ways. There’s Starr’s new boyfriend, family, and Kahlil. Based on how Starr viewed each person changed how she talked about or to them. There is this overarching idea of unconditioned love for Starr though with all of these people, and I think that says the most about who Starr is as a person. I will try to bring this up Monday in class, as long as I can remember what I was talking about.

SOTD

I am happy with the secondary sources that I found. I think that I can use a wide range of things that will help boost what I have to say and they vary from articles more about trauma all the way to Shakespeare writing about sexuality. I was also able to find the Judith Butler article I wanted to reference which I am very happy about. I will definitely talk about how Rosalind and Viola are performing gender and how they do so. I also built my definition of trauma for the paper, so I know that I can take the paper in the direction I want to.

I wish I found at least one paper talking about the measures these characters take to survive in their situations, but I think I can use what I have to infer those sorts of things. I also wish that I was able to find more about Twelfth Night as I did for As You Like It. I know that some of the articles can be used for both plays, but it seems like my secondary sources tend to lean more about AYLI. Not a huge issue, but I will have to keep that in mind when I write my paper.

SONG

I am presenting in class tomorrow, my topic does fit in with the rest of the readings but the focus on trauma and mental health in the other stories is so much more rounded out than mine. That is fine though. I still think what I am talking about will be justified. However I do not want to talk about my portions. Megan’s text about eating disorders had me thinking a lot more than I thought it would and I really enjoyed it. I kept thinking about the parts where the main character was talking or thinking to herself and how the things she was saying were so closely related to those people that justify drug abuse. They know that this is a bad thing and they still find some way of justifying it to themselves. I have seen how these things happen firsthand and it is crazy to watch these habits spiral out of control. The same thing that can be said about drug abuse can be seen in this excerpt about eating disorders.

The other part about the text I found especially notable is that the main character does not go through these habits for seemingly any real reason besides being a “winner”. I thought that a lot of people went through eating disorders for some sort of public image purpose. That does not seem to be the case here. I don’t know if there really is one anyway. That was something that stood out to me especially in the way that winners are usually found in public image and her definition of a winner is entirely internal.

SONG OF THE DAY

With my paper being about trauma and cross-dressing in Shakespeare plays, I am looking forward to exploring what trauma could have meant in the 16th and 17th century. It is also in my wheelhouse because I am a psychology minor and with the field being relatively new, there is probably not a whole lot written in this fashion about these heavily explored plays. I tried to assign parts of the plays that carry the most plot for the characters I am focusing on; their backstories, interactions with certain characters, and their endings. These are the important parts and also some of the parts that are the chewiest. I am looking forward to hearing how my classmates take the trauma from these characters and use that as a means to justify their actions. I am fortunate enough to be one of very few men in the class and with that being the case, I am looking forward to hearing what the women in the class have to say about these female characters. I think they will be able to provide some angles I did not consider.

I already know that people cope with trauma in many different ways. Some of these being avoidance and impersonation. These are the mechanisms used in Twelfth Night and As You Like It. I also think that there will be some other things that I come across in my research that I can then relay into my paper. I am also going to use bell hooks and her ideas about gender being performed. I think that looking at that lens and how that may relate to trauma could be cool to implement into my paper.

It is funny to think that I am pretty much ending my college career with what I began with– a research paper. I am not going to read my old one from 6 years ago until I am completely done with this new one, but I will be genuinely interested to see how my writing has changed after some time and a change in major. I usually enjoyed writing papers. I always liked forming an opinion and finding things that back up my opinion. It was like following the steps to a treasure map that I created the X in the sand for.

I do not think any paper I have ever written was strong or weak, I just think that my knowledge of writing a paper has increased with every paper I wrote. I suppose that some arguments have been stronger than others, but I think that comes along with practice. My papers I wrote this semester are better than others that I wrote when I was a freshman in college. I did not know what I was doing. And on top of that, I was an engineering major and knew nothing about writing.

I did not know what to expect out of this book, especially starting in the middle of the book. I did not know how easily I would pick up on the story. Boy howdy did it get going. I got caught up in the section about the skin the most. I think I read that section in its entirety like 3 or 4 times. It was written beautifully and it resonated with me for some reason. Maybe it was because I was reading this book at work on a gloomy morning where the context of the book articulated how I felt about the cloudy sky that coated over the wait for tables at 9 in the morning. Or maybe it was because the section took its bluntness and explored it way deeper than I thought it could ever take it. Something as simple as “these dead skin cells make up the part of you I am the most familiar with” was made into a 2 page section that really exemplified how much the narrator cared for Louise.

Something that I have tried to improve recently in my own writing is detail, and I think I am going to use this section as a resource when I need guidance on how to do it. Something about this section fits with what I tend to aim for with my writing, and I think that this will be a good guideline for what I should try to do.

Song of the day

Dang, I think Enda blew it. She almost came back around and considered her husband and kids. I thought that was going to be her way of coming back around and realizing the issues she caused herself with associating herself with other men while her husband was away. But nope, all of her problems, including her death were self-afflicted. I think this all could have been avoided with a solid conversation with her husband. However it does beg the question– does her death emphasize her freedom and her awakening? Does her drowning symbolize how this is the only way she felt free? She thought of her kids, the only thing that seemingly tied her down for a brief moment, but to associate with her kids is to associate with her status as Mrs. Pontellier.

I have to go back to Quadeca with this blog post too, because at the end of the album Vanisher, Horizon Scraper the character drowns at sea in a storm after the boat gets destroyed. The end track “Casper” digs deep into the same things that Enda seems to mention. Lines like “And so much harder / And so much harder / To me, that is better” and “But the darkness so consuming, the only life he’s shown / Is that heaven’s open wide, it’s hell on earth he knows” capture the same concepts Enda went through at her end. There is a regret found within both characters for their choices they made throughout their lives. The decisions that got them into the situation they find themselves in with the ocean. The find their mortal being to be hellish, and the only rational result is to accept heaven.

Song of the day, absolutely no correlation.

Edna’s feelings towards the men in her life was interesting to me, especially thinking about the way she feels about her husband being away versus Robert going away. I know that is the big point of the section, but thinking about it and listening to Edna flesh out her thoughts especially after her husband went out of town was interesting for me to think about. I am sure she loves her husband, but is there something to be said about the metaphorical grass being greener with Robert? Does she have this infatuation with him because she can not be with him?

The section with the doctor also got me thinking about what it was like for women at the time that were seeking genuine medical advice, and how awful that experience must have been. Besides the fact there there was not modern medicine the same way we have it today, there was also very little work done to learn about female anatomy and the proper treatments that go along with it.

I almost forgot! Song of the day.

As I began to read The Awakening, I kept being drawn in the most with the beach scenes and the mentioning of the ocean. The most involved came with the part of Edna learning how to swim, and her first success at it. The beach sections reminded me of an album that I have been obsessed with since it came out in July of last Year, Vanisher, Horizon Scraper by Quadeca. It is a concept album about a sailor that goes on through his life as he goes through life alone on the ocean. A week ago, Quadeca released an extended cut of the album with a song conveniently titled “Learning to Swim”. That song was playing in my head as I read this section. The chorus repeating itself as Edna felt some comfort and happiness with finally being able to swim. Although the content of the song does not exactly match the mood of this section, it still captured the same intentions. It had me thinking about some of the things I had found success in although they came at a cost. That is where I landed with this section of the story. All of the instances where my efforts ended with success, but may have added some sort of extra responsibility or stress in the future. I think that is where both Quadeca and Edna mesh.